Well – the busy week is finished and I survived without being too exhausted! Just one blip on Tuesday, but even that was a learning curve – when i’ve taken on too much and i need to slow down. It’s not easy saying no – enough, i need some time – but it was the right thing. I managed to continue with all other commitments and i’m having a day of rest today! I say day of rest… I’m cooking a full roast dinner and stewing some apples too… But it doesn’t feel like work, it just feels like a nice ‘pottering’ around the house. Relaxing in it’s own way.

This week has felt marginally stressful, but to be honest no-where near as bad as i’d expected it to be. I’m definitely beginning to feel more like my old self, back in control, able to juggle many different things without losing track of where i am and what i should be doing. And because of this, I was so much more able to enjoy my concert last night and came away feeling elated. I am always so much happier when i’m performing, when i’m singing, when i’m just allowing my emotions to flow out naturally, whatever the emotions that are required… It’s something I can’t fully describe – it’s not even having people watching what you’re doing, it’s not having anyone tell you you’re good – it’s experiencing and enjoying the moment fully – being 100% involved, showing who you truly are no masks, completely open, but curiously not vulnerable…

I want to perform more, I want to continue as much as I can, it makes me feel alive, and maybe it’s the key to ultimately controlling my feelings when I just need to ‘vent’… Maybe this is what i’ve always done and i’ve just not realised it? The creativity within me existing as a balance to the strength of my emotions?