I started to taper my meds on Saturday – Day 1, just gently, a bit at a time. I had a terrible time trying to tolerate these meds in the first place, so i’m not taking any chances with the withdrawal symptoms if I can possibly avoid them. Maybe my body will thank me for giving it a break! So day 1 – no ill effects, in fact if anything I felt a little better than usual. Same for day 2. This was the same does as day 1, so I expected no ill effects, and well, I didn’t get any. No issues with my moods, no issues with sickness – well, not any different to usual anyway, and perhaps a little milder? I’m wondering if that’s psychosomatic though… good chance at this stage… I know the drug is a strong one, and I did have many problems with it at first, but I can’t see how reducing the dosage a little can make a difference… But if it is then I’m not complaining!

Only problem is today. Day 3. I totally forgot to take my meds. I usually carry them in my bag because I rush around like a tasmanian devil in the mornings, and just grab everything I need for the day ahead – including my breakfast to eat at the office. After I’d amended my tablets on Saturday, I had pierced the entire blister pack, so I have left them in the drugs cupboard so they can’t shake loose in the packets and I lose track of which tablet I need to take on what day. Added to the fact that I leave myself the bare minimum of time to get ready in the morning and the dog really didn’t want to go out for her morning ablutions in this weather, despite bribery with gravy bones, I totally forgot to take my next pill.

Not feeling any ill effects of the missed med as yet – but i’m a little nervous of untoward feelings, as I had very strange brain zaps coming off Citalopram, very dizzy like spells and unfocussing of eyes and almost a ‘spaced out’ feeling. I’m not eager to get that back, so I’m just hoping nothing happens like that. Again, I have no troubled emotions, if anything, other than the slight anxiety of possible side effects, I feel quite calm today.

The final concert in this series of concerts was last night, and although some people clearly didn’t like certain parts of the work, it appeared well recieved. I suppose it remains to be seen what the reviews say as to whether we were successful or not! It was an exhausting sing, emotionally and physically, and I am quite drained today. But it’s a satisfied feeling, and I find myself wondering when the next concerts are. I miss performing when there’s nothing to look forward to, saying that, I’m also looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend to myself. I definitely need some time to recouperate, there’s only so long I can carry on for – and well, if there are any nasty withdrawal symptoms to come, it’s best if I clear the slate to give time to take care of myself.

Plus of course, plenty of time to dedicate to my projects. I’ve neglected them of late, and there’s loads of ideas floating around demanding attention. Good times. Nearly Christmas, and don’t hate me… But pretty much all my Christmas shopping already done!