Much much better today, slept deeply again, less weird dreams, don’t feel nauseous this morning, no head swims and no shakes. Slight mood change to an unexplained ‘irritability’ but is this down to the meds or just me? Not sure, haven’t felt so ‘intolerant’ for a long while… But, I’ve spotted it, i’m sitting on it and reaching for the Dr Bach’s remedies. Again – Dr Bach’s remedies, placebo or truth? I am so not sure on this, but they work for me, I’ve seen them work for others, so I’m not knocking it. What works for one might not work for others, but as it’s impossible to overdose on the stuff, it seems a safe way to help, as indeed it does for me.

It’s funny as I can feel myself gradually relaxing today – yes i’ve tonnes of stuff to do at work, and this mild irritability is knocking away for attention at the back of my mind, but… I feel oddly calm. In control. It was something that was worrying me, sometimes you can know too much about something. Hitting Google to check out everything can be helpful, but it can also give you too much information on things that might not even be relevant. If i’d paid attention to the Duloxetine horror stories i’d read before taking my meds, I could well have never reached this stage i’m at now. I wonder if you could coin a phrase ‘Internet Hysteria’? Why is it that you can always find horror stories, but very rarely anything good about many issues that affect us all?

Balance. I have no idea why people are obsessed with ‘right’ and ‘wrong’… I used to be obsessed with this too, I could never see shades of grey, something was either right or wrong, no middle ground. Thing is, this is not true. By assuming right and wrong assumes that your way is the only way. Fair enough i’m not talking about serious heinous crimes here, but everyday events – things like politics. People get horrifically heated about politics, but what I say about that is there is not right and wrong, just reasoning behind decisions, and everyone has different reasons for why they believe and disbelieve ideas. The other questioning is that why do you believe a particular idea? Is it something you’ve thought through yourself or something you’ve ‘absorbed’ through every day life?

This is why I try to keep an open mind, try to listen to what people have to say, understand where they’re coming from, try and see things from their point of view. I may still not agree with them by the end of the conversation, my reasoning for the issue may still speak louder in my head than theirs – but this is not to say that they’re wrong. They may well be 100% right and I’ve not come to that conclusion yet.

Wow – i’m rambling this morning, but i’m having to remind myself of this today as there have been a couple of times lately where i’ve been challenged over my points of view, and i’ve almost gone to default ‘nod and agree’ just to avoid the conflict. And I don’t see why I should do that, my point of view is as valid as anyone elses, and just because they shout louder doesn’t mean it’s any more valid than my views or anyone elses. It’s easy to allow yourself to be shouted down, but instead take a deep breath, remain calm and quiet and just state your views. You more often than not come across as more in control and respectable that way. More likely to have further conversations with others too as they then become interested in what you have to say. Even if they also don’t agree with your point of view.

That’s my experience anyway. I mean who wants to speak to anyone closed minded and shouty? I don’t that’s for sure. Having an opinion – any opinion, is better than going through life being someone elses puppet. So now, I’m going to attempt to put this calm to good use and try to knock off some of the bigger tasks from my ‘to do’ list. Always grab the opportunity as it presents itself!