Well after the meeting it wasn’t particularly good news. Was to be expected, but everyone is in a state of numb shock. Others in complete tumult. I tend to hit tumult as when I feel an injustice is coming I get frustrated and angry. Very rarely do I hit despondent, but I know… that there will be injustices served. When people get fearful, oftentimes the really ugly side to human nature comes out. It’s not like I haven’t been through this process before a couple of times though, so other than getting annoyed about other’s reactions and the lengths some will go to to preserve themselves, I’m attempting to remain calm.

There are a couple of young colleagues it’s hit quite hard, so I’m trying to remain calm for them too. I’m hoping that it won’t be bad for them in the end – there’s a possibility it won’t, and I’m holding on to that hope. Funny thing is, there has to be a good side in all of this too. On the other side of the doom and gloom there can only be positives to come. Once the worst has happened, how can it get any worse? Other options may occur but at least you’re prepared for them, if you expect the worse in such situations, anything else that occurs can only be better.

Anyway. Having plugged in to my most soothing music,  I’m now reflecting on the Volunteering Induction I had last night. I was  starting to get a little lethargic over the whole thing as I had to keep putting my induction off due to work and other issues and I was beginning to think that perhaps I just didn’t have the time in my life to do this. But. I went along last night and everything was explained to me, procedures etc and I found myself looking forward to the opportunity again. And it is an opportunity, to help someone, to just be a ‘friend’ to someone who needs one if I can. So now, I am an official Volunteer. Something that when I was younger, I had NO idea why anyone would give up free time to do something like this. Funny how priorities change as you age and experience life.

Experiencing life is exactly what I’m after. In order to be able to write music, write words, how can I hope to express myself if I can’t experience what I want to write? Other than the companionship aspect of personal fulfilment, I love listening to the views of others, the thoughts, the turns of phrase, the experiences of others in their lives… Also to help if I can, I doubt I can help anyone much, despite being in my own little world, I have no doubts I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life. I’m quite fearful of a lot of things deep down, so I often try to push my boundaries to rid myself of the fears, to conquer them if I can… Mostly successfully, I can often fail badly too…

The point is, life is for living. Sometimes we can get wrapped up in the mundanes of life. Sleep, work, money, tv, sleep, work, money, tv… but there is so much more out there to be experienced if you just take time out to step back and look for it…